Everyone is serious: 08 de abril de 2015
Everyone is serious, models on a catwalk terrified of tripping. My eyes are so dry it’s hard to make calm, consistent eye contact, and I stutter and trip over my words, squinty-eyed with contact lenses and a nervous smile.
Antes no podía dejar de reírme. Raúl caminaba extrañamente rápido y sentí fuerte su energía de acciones y planes.
Necesitábamos más tiempo libre, más tiempo entre reuniones para no estar juntos siempre. Cambiar es tan difícil, pero conocer otra perspectiva es esencial para aprender bien, para encontrar lo que podría ser mejor.
Tiene que usar el baño y le digo, “Yo te espero acá,” voz el color de la sombra en la cual estoy sentada, esperando. Fumamos dos cigarrillos verdes, y la nostalgia se derritió y se goteó por todos lados. Me siento triste pero libre. Toma tanto tiempo para conocer a una persona enteramente, y después se va.
Todo va a evolucionar rápido. Tu vida es real, las relaciones con otras personas son tan importantes. Tenés que hablar…
People’s interactions blur together. Someone turned the contrast up just a bit too high so the edges are sharper and there’s nowhere to go, the dimension you’re in will forever be yours.
Raúl is an actor, as perhaps we all are, but he plays his part well. He knows how to ask the right questions at the right time. He reads context masterfully and often initiates contact without the need for moral support. I think I prefer moral support, and when I have it all the time I start to depend on it. After that happens, doing things alone feels a bit uncomfortable.
Maybe that is why cats are always on the outside, watching the energy orb out of itself: it’s too much to collide with that energy in the same way it’s difficult to stop depending so much on someone else when you feel comfortable with them.
Change burns a trail of embers in the memory; they take time to cool into dusty blue scars and morph into different speech patterns. Neuronal trails grow over past highways and form slick new paths in every direction.
Cats are sitting around the campfire of human energy waves. To come close may sizzle their skin.