dim lamplight and a darkening sky: 12 January 2012

Cheese, hand warmers, eye contact and shy smiles, vibrant hair, perceptions of beauty, eye makeup, television shows, a thick luster, jewelry, running, feeling so good after running, shopping for birthday gifts, getting mail, not feeling anxious for a really long time, confused by feelings of attraction, loving the attention I get from guys, loving any sort of attention, Top Ramen, lots of food, not worried about money, visiting Jonah and Andrea!

babies, puppies, coffee, ice cream, cake, alcohol, wearing clothes I haven’t worn in a while, NOT being on my period, the shadow of this pen on clear white paper under dim lamplight and a darkening sky, waiting, money dripping silently from my eyes like tears of frustration I’m fine I’m totally fine just bored yet creative and not really concentrating, that guy I always see in the lounge is so fucking sexy I want his body I want him to want me, scribbles of black ink, foreign languages,

cursive, ribbons, fucking dairy products, desire to see attractive males, hemp, cannabis vodka, “oh to be drunk and escape from me,” being too drunk, hangovers and how that is not enjoyable, birthday cards, showers, warmth, nothing important to say so just rambling, Nicki Minaj, being a selfish lover, Atlas Shrugged as a mind-blowing experience, wanting to read more, wanting to be the curves of your own letters, your own writing,

smooth sailing, graffiti as artwork and a method of communication and expression, house parties, tattoos and piercings, tolerance, big cities, never going back, wanting to go back but just to visit, wondering where you belong, wondering if you truly belong in any particular place, wondering why no one else is preoccupied with this train of thought, this idea, fucking bitches