Where are you? 22 February 2012

Things: I can’t love anyone. I can’t enjoy physicality, all I want is to not touch anyone, to sleep alone, to sit in the shower and be silent and feel the warmth mixing with my own mind and my secret ideas and thoughts. All these guys want to get with me but it’s not fun for me because they don’t understand my mind, they don’t get it, and I need that most. I’m only physical when I’m drunk and I don’t give a shit about those guys, they aren’t real people to me, they have no mind, no emotion, no feeling. They are simply beings of desire, animals searching for pleasure, for a warm body to remind them they’re alive. It’s pitiful, it’s pathetic, it’s futile.

I need someone with ideas, with revolutionary thoughts, with creative urges, with plans of adventure. I need an intellectual, I need someone who reads, who researches, who doesn’t need me. I need someone who has too many things in his head, who pretends he doesn’t feel anything for me.

I need someone with infinite patience, I need someone to not touch me until I want to be touched. I need someone crazy, I need someone insane.

Where are you?

Where are you?

I want a troubled mind, I want violent urges, I want hurt and fear and worry and psychology. I want philosophy. I hate the happy-go-lucky person. I cannot stand him.