Sitting on the patio alone: 28 de enero de 2015
Sitting on the patio alone in the shade with a lukewarm coffee. Today is sunny but there’s a luxurious cool breeze rustling the hair on my arms and whisking away any negative thoughts that flicker into being. Such as the memory of the Australian travelers that had a bad energy hovering over them, outlined in faces that looked as if they had just smelled something horrible, but it was actually just insecurity and immaturity leaking through every pore, tainting my halo vibe.
They left this morning, and I love knowing that everyone I meet will disappear sooner or later, so I can start over, invent another personality in time for the arrival of someone potentially more interesting.
I feel today in the cool air as if the beach is close, a beach with tranquil vibes, no tanta gente, no tanto sol. Like the Oregon coast, cold atmosphere puddling into heavy hanging mists, shade and seashells, black magic hidden in tide pools and resting at the tops of mountainous rocks you can’t reach unless you swim through crashing white waves and stringy strands of soggy seaweed.
Sometimes I meet people that I imagine to be really interesting, thoughtful, funny, and they fantastically fail to meet my expectations and turn out to be superficial, boring, judgmental, unable to engage in an open-minded conversation. I’ve always felt that fashion is such an intuitive indicator as to what is in a person’s mind; if they look fucking weird and cool, they’ve got to be that way in relation to their personality, right? Wrong. Oh, well.
Disappointment hurts less when you know everyone will leave soon and you’ll get to try again with someone new. I like funny people that know how to listen. No one knows how to listen! People just blabber on and on about cualquier cosa and I wait for them to stop but they feel so interesting that the stream turns into a waterfall until I invent an excuse to escape.
The other night I stumbled upon four Israeli guys dancing and laughing in a vacant room upstairs. Drinking wine or something, animated, smiling. Tanta energía, tan, muscular bodies, encouraging each other and cracking up. Then the guy working after me rushes in and bursts the vibe as if it were a terrible nuisance. But I saw a shimmer of confidence and comfortability there that filled me up with positivity.
Later they invited me to go out with them, and at the last minute I said yes. We went to Maria Maria, a place I had already chalked off as being una mierda where lost souls go to die, but that night it was different. They had live music, a band playing Beatles covers who were actually really talented. We drank cerveza and I laughed hysterically as the Israelis danced sexy together like gay men, while everyone in the club stared.
Although, I feel like you can tell they are straighter than ever. Only as comfortable with their bodies as is possible. I admire that so much, and I felt so comfortable with them that I invited one into my room later. Just for awhile.