Unblocked: 28 de febrero de 2015
Well, Manuel unblocked me, I knew he would. Some people I work with went out the other night and they saw him at the bar! Dan talked to him, drunken Canadian con una onda buena. And then Manuel texts me, tells me it was uncomfortable the way they looked at him, that he’s angry that other people have read his texts. I always let people read his texts, but only when I can’t figure out if he’s being an asshole or being unfair.
He said if what he writes is unclear I can ask him, and I said I can’t ask him if he’s being a fucking asshole. No reply. Later I drink too much wine and text him, “Creo que sos inteligente e interesante, no sé por qué hay mala onda entre nosotros.” Y dice que la persona que tiene mala onda no es él. Smiley face.
Later, he says he wanted to be in my tiny bed with me, and I don’t respond. I’m so done with this bipolar bullshit. Está loco este chico. No más para mí. He already ruined the whole vibe with his fucked-upness, and I have no desire to talk to him anymore. It’s too much unnecessary drama that I don’t want to deal with. I wish he hadn’t unblocked me. I hate these games.
Don’t play games with me, I always win. I wish I could find someone I could lose to. And honestly lose, like totally distraught after playing hard, giving it all my energy. All I need is someone to call me out on my bullshit, and be able to recognize when I’m bullshitting. Just a bit of mental intuition and ya está. Because most guys call me out on my bullshit when I’m not actual bullshitting and just being honest. They don’t get it or me, the don’t understand me at all.