A letter to Damon Albarn: 29 March 2012

A letter to Damon Albarn:

Hi. How are you? I miss you. I miss you and I don’t even know you. I miss you because I saw you only once at your concert in Seattle. I cried the whole time.

Everything you say is serious and beautiful and poetic and romantic. Romantic in a way that is different, more special, secret and thoughtful and like looking up to someone. Not sexual, it doesn’t have to be sexual. The way Noodle is small and talented and respected and does her own thing and the only girl in the group. Like a precocious younger sibling you’d protect with your life.

You know, I’ve always wanted to be Noodle. Because she contributes to the group, she works, she knows what she’s doing, and at the same time she’s protected, she’s safe, she’s not alone in a shit world that’s boring and fearful. She is part of something but can wander off alone and be okay.

I wonder, do you get a lot of fan mail? What do you do when you are alone? Do you ever talk out loud to yourself when you’re looking in the mirror? Is there someone you really admire? In the way I admire you? You know, of course I am in love with you, but it’s in that older sibling way. That feeling when you’re younger that your older sibling is the most amazing person, awe-inspiring? It’s along those lines. I think that’s the only way I’ll ever love anyone. Sexual things bore me.

Anyway, I love you because of your lyrics. I love you because Gorillaz always makes me feel better. Always. Because your music is so…Quality. The emotions are real, palpable. There’s a story and somehow I’m always in it. Sometimes I’m the main character. Sometimes I’m in the background, or Noodle playing her guitar on the floating island, alone. Lost in thought, nature, subtle vibrations, a slight breeze.

I’m in love with you because you are 2D and I’m in love with 2D. I love you because you don’t care about money. Because you represent things I wish I could be, that I feel I could be one day. Because your music reads my mind, because I pretend it’s only for me, it was made for me and no other.