to banksy: 13 February 2012
TO BANKSY: I want everything that’s in your mind, I need a revolution, I need something secret and important to give me a purpose, to show me life means something more than surviving. I want it to be mine and…
THINGS: 28 October 2011
THINGS: walking for hours under a hooded sky, upon damp cobblestones, learning, adapting, doubt, nervousness, always finding something to worry about, beautiful histories not my own, desire, satisfaction, wandering, appearances as deceptive, memories, the future as impossible to perceive, snacking,…
Everyone thinks I understand everything: 22 de noviembre de 2014
I think I’m at the point in learning Spanish where everyone thinks I understand everything. Twitchy, distracted, unfocused, breathing hard, absorbing everything. I could feel all my thoughts, all physical movements as positive or negative energy, all shifting and morphing…
This high is heavy like the droopy gray sky of my early Tuesday morning: 09 de junio de 2015
This high is heavy like the droopy gray sky of my early Tuesday morning. The sound of the shower stirred me awake at seven, the sky a vast darkness, lightening from navy into a militant, ashy gray. I turned on…
LCD Soundsystem and a patio full of chattering Argentinians: 02 de mayo de 2015
LCD Soundsystem and a patio full of chattering Argentinians, they crack each other up. If you don’t let everything spill out, you won’t be able to sift the gold from the shit, you won’t find art if you haven’t seen…
My birthday, just another day: 15 de enero de 2015
Been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately, and I know I could just not feel like that, but easier said than done. Yesterday was my birthday, just another day. I went to the public hospital super early to see about getting…
North American anxiety: 08 de enero de 2015
Yesterday I wrote Sawyer a long email about my life right now, and how I don’t want to go back to the states because anxiety and unsureness and uncomfortability (I know it’s not a word but it is now) are…
Self-absorbed abstractions: 01 de septiembre de 2013
I kept wanting to completely let go and conquer that self-consciousness, but I couldn’t. It was a physical thing, attached and palpable and squishy and I couldn’t get rid of it. I don’t have that with Kaia, like I do…
A past lover made me so abstract: 18 de mayo de 2013
INDECISION GRIPS ME IT DOES It has tied me down, I am frozen, immobile. I will defeat you, I will write you into oblivion, I will figure you out, I will sift through the insanity and find what’s real. It…
So here I am in the light of the terraza: 18 de febrero de 2014
So here I am in the light of the terraza, shaded by his sombra, craving words like a sexual compulsion, but this time in Spanish. It’s like my brain’s foreplay tryst with “herramientas,” a simple word made into a throaty…