I wonder if you are the clockmaker: 24 October 2011
I need this journal. I need my own words breathless and sparked and nonsensical and hurtful and published and worrisome and anxious and the death urges. My anemic emotional handwriting that may not be my own, alone. No right, no…
Everyone thinks I understand everything: 22 de noviembre de 2014
I think I’m at the point in learning Spanish where everyone thinks I understand everything. Twitchy, distracted, unfocused, breathing hard, absorbing everything. I could feel all my thoughts, all physical movements as positive or negative energy, all shifting and morphing…
Dim lights and jazz music: 01 de abril de 2015
Dim lights and jazz music. Today I wanted to be a hippie, a reporter, Buddha; a person with perfect calm confidence and no doubt. You are a person of talent. You, you have got something special. I feel pressured to…
Fernet and cola under the stars: 04 de enero de 2015
The start of my new year was kind of una mierda. New Year’s Eve we had the hostel to ourselves: Kate, who I played soccer with in college, chiquita, blonde hair, blue eyes, and the most beautiful clear skin, as…
“Nada personal”: 20 de julio de 2015
I will remember boxed wine and paraguayo. Spanish all around me, no inspiration, only inspiration. Crying in pain, laughing in ecstasy, wanting to remember and wanting to forget. I will remember you, because my memory is quite good. “Nada personal” de…