• 2011

    the constant stability of sanity: 24 November 2011

    I want immortality, perfection, permanence, security, the constant stability of sanity, to keep everything remembered forever, never forgotten…but truly I don’t want any of these things. I’ll get bored and feel trapped, I’m contradicting myself, fucking up the harmony or…

  • 2014

    Everyone thinks I understand everything: 22 de noviembre de 2014

    I think I’m at the point in learning Spanish where everyone thinks I understand everything. Twitchy, distracted, unfocused, breathing hard, absorbing everything. I could feel all my thoughts, all physical movements as positive or negative energy, all shifting and morphing…

  • 2015

    Armando la carpa, desarmando la carpa: 16 de marzo de 2015

    Sandy Birkenstocks, tea in a thermos, children’s books en español, selling burbujeros to the tourists in the weekend market and on the beach, armando la carpa, desarmando la carpa, esperando en el sol, everything dirty and filled with salt and…

  • 2015

    A guy: 17 de febrero de 2015

    So I got a waitressing job last week for the weekend. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. The guy that called to tell me was the guy I handed my resume to: young, dark hair and skin, thick glasses and a broad smile,…

  • 2015

    Otra lista de vibras: 10 de febrero de 2015

    Other people’s wrong assumptions, the silence boredom brings, vibes of safety and security sprouting from my mother’s written words, tobacco in a soggy pouch under my upper lip, cool air after the rain, water collected in the ashtrays on the…

  • 2015

    My birthday, just another day: 15 de enero de 2015

    Been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately, and I know I could just not feel like that, but easier said than done. Yesterday was my birthday, just another day. I went to the public hospital super early to see about getting…

  • 2013

    My honesty is flowing and coherent: 01 de junio de 2013

    Is my diary completely honest? His honesty manifested in writing would be vulgar. Cum-stained blankets from white hospital rooms with bars in the windows, and slits in the doors for porridge. My honesty is flowing and coherent, vague ideas growing…