THINGS: 28 October 2011
THINGS: walking for hours under a hooded sky, upon damp cobblestones, learning, adapting, doubt, nervousness, always finding something to worry about, beautiful histories not my own, desire, satisfaction, wandering, appearances as deceptive, memories, the future as impossible to perceive, snacking,…
Is anything better than anything else?: 25 October 2011
The ultimate question I freak out about is: Is anything better than anything else? My “things”: locations, religions, types of people, fame and lack of fame, to be alone or with others.
I wonder if you are the clockmaker: 24 October 2011
I need this journal. I need my own words breathless and sparked and nonsensical and hurtful and published and worrisome and anxious and the death urges. My anemic emotional handwriting that may not be my own, alone. No right, no…
I started Zoloft again: 12 de noviembre de 2014
I feel like a sage, a master of “letting things be.” I started Zoloft again three days ago and it’s been making me feel like vomiting, just vaguely, under-the-surface-enough so that I don’t actually do it. It also gives me…
Everyone thinks I understand everything: 22 de noviembre de 2014
I think I’m at the point in learning Spanish where everyone thinks I understand everything. Twitchy, distracted, unfocused, breathing hard, absorbing everything. I could feel all my thoughts, all physical movements as positive or negative energy, all shifting and morphing…
I want to smoke cigarettes in outdoor cafes: 02 de mayo de 2014
I want to wear jewelry and paint my nails and smoke cigarettes in outdoor cafes while drinking coffee and writing. I want to eat healthy food, cook healthy food, smoke weed and drink mate with friends and talk about the…
The hunter, the killer: Analizando a la Chiqi: 02 de septiembre de 2015
The hunter. The killer. A veces una princesa, a sloth, someone that’s going to give me a tart reply in a cheeky tone (pun intended, obvio, po). Los cinco sentidos de la Chiqi son realmente, como, veinte. Ella esperó hasta…
Hablando con mi misma: 31 de agosto de 2015
Estoy hablando con mi misma, como la mayoría de las veces que estoy hablando (de algo que pienso importante). Fumé la resina de mi pipa que había tenido escondida por casi dos años en un libro con el medio sacado,…
That weird pleasure: 03 de agosto de 2015
What’s with that weird pleasure one finds in doing something she knows she shouldn’t do? Like smoking cigarettes or eating a fuck-ton of carbs? Yesterday was Sunday and everyone and her fucking grandmother and dog and 20 kids came to…
A list of things I love about you: 13 de julio de 2015
Let me tell you before I forget that I love you. I love to be around you. I love your strong embrace and your torpeza and your giant, bear-like mannerisms. I love you in the way I love Soda Stereo…