I know I was a cat in another life: 23 de febrero de 2014
I’ll come back when I’m ready. I know I was a cat in another life. Yes, those heightened sense-states, that dangerous independence, the fucking need for una siesta! I must master it on my own, I must explore it at my own pace. I’m smarter than I understand. I’m smarter than anyone understands. There is a need for appropriate expression of inner compulsions.
My senses are so hyper-active that I feel bloated. My eyes are bulging, I’m thinking about thinking and how I love this place because I can sit and think, black graceful stealth like a baby learning to focus on anything. Fuck, I’m drifting away, see you on the other side.
He called his shirt ‘her’ and I started laughing hysterically, uncontrollably. He couldn’t figure out why it was so funny.
I wish I could be better friends with a girl I work with. I feel like I could learn so many beneficial things from her. I learn so much more about myself in just one conversation with her. She makes me think, reconsider personal assumptions. She makes me realize how far I have to go before I am completely who or what I want to be. It’s almost discouraging but I think that’s an irrational feeling. It’s insecurity, a lack of confidence breaking through. I am already who I want to be, the desired manifestation is just blurry still.
Fumando porro alone before una feria exploration. Nubes pesados, the people in Montevideo as seemingly hardier, more resilient, than the people in the states. I have this fleeting vague premonition of success and I hope it proves true. I hate working full time, I don’t have energy to do other things!