2011 - Volume 4
the constant stability of sanity: 24 November 2011
I want immortality, perfection, permanence, security, the constant stability of sanity, to keep everything remembered forever, never forgotten…but truly I don’t want any of these things. I’ll get bored and feel trapped, I’m contradicting myself, fucking up the harmony or…
Good vibrations: 10 November 2011
Good vibrations: black-tipped nails, sweatshirts over dresses, almost finishing a book and starting another, secret uninhabited parts of London that aren’t touristy, cloudy gray mornings with coffee and thick socks and braided hair and alone, wearing the same clothes over…
THINGS: 28 October 2011
THINGS: walking for hours under a hooded sky, upon damp cobblestones, learning, adapting, doubt, nervousness, always finding something to worry about, beautiful histories not my own, desire, satisfaction, wandering, appearances as deceptive, memories, the future as impossible to perceive, snacking,…
Is anything better than anything else?: 25 October 2011
The ultimate question I freak out about is: Is anything better than anything else? My “things”: locations, religions, types of people, fame and lack of fame, to be alone or with others.
I wonder if you are the clockmaker: 24 October 2011
I need this journal. I need my own words breathless and sparked and nonsensical and hurtful and published and worrisome and anxious and the death urges. My anemic emotional handwriting that may not be my own, alone. No right, no…