I hate school: January 12, 2006

January 12, 2006
10:29 p.m.*
Thursday

[*Charts and notes follow. This is the first entry where Ana expresses her dislike for high school, a feeling that becomes pervasive and persistent.]

Christmas was real fun, I got lots of cool stuff, including a digital camera and clothes and stuff. It was nice. Oh and I also got Rage Against the Machine CDs and the Gorillaz CD. It’s cool.

I really like Conrad but he does drugs and it really bugs me. Also, Lisbet’s being a bitch lately. Like, she says really rude stuff about me in front of other people and that makes me feel crappy. Also, she calls me stupid and freaks out at me when I use an H at the end of my name. Why would she care anyway? I mean honestly. She freaks out about everything. And Nate is such a dumbass. He’s really mean to me for like no reason. I don’t understand him at all. Everyone else is pretty cool. Kyle grabs my butt all the time and I really don’t like it. 🙁 Haha yeah it’s weird. My friends are so complicated. Everyone is mean, or smokes, or is just annoying, and I always feel so out of place.

I feel like I have a bad reputation, like I’m mean or something, from hanging out with Lisbet. She’s really mean to everyone, and Nate just follows her around like she’s queen, and I feel like whenever I’m with her I’m really following her, because she walks slightly in front of me, and that’s annoying because I don’t want to have people think that I follow her around and do what she wants. It’s ridiculous. I just want to go hang out with my friends that have good vibes. Good personalities, good reputations I mean. Like Camila and Maddie [Ana’s cousins], or just Jenna and Karly [Ana’s other Mormon neighborhood friend]. OR DANIELLE!!!!!!!!!! They’re all really cool and I would rather hang out with them than with Lisbet’s friends. At least I don’t have a reputation of being too silly or not smart at Century [Ana’s high school]. So that’s cool.

And Conrad and Lisbet were supposed to come over today, but after school I couldn’t go meet Conrad because I lost my purse and Lisbet had no service on her phone, but anyways, at the last minute Lisbet decided that she didn’t want to go to my house, and before that she tried to invite Nate to my house for me. “OH that’s cool Lisbet, just invite people to my house! Sure ok. That’s fine. He’s only the biggest fag ever!” Yeah so I was pissed. She’s really getting on my nerves. Oh and then they got pissed at me because I wouldn’t tell my mom to leave after she already came. So I hate them all. So then, tonight, she calls me about science, and I was like, “Fuck you bitch! This is exactly why I wanted you to come to my house DAMNIT!” Yeah, so that was annoying too. That girl is physco [sic – psycho].

So right now in my life school is hell, but I suppose it will get better soon. I believe everything happens for a reason. So it’ll get better. I hope.

But anyway, my b-day is in like one and a half days. It’s way cool. I read almost my whole diary tonight, and everything was so dorky. But I like it because it reminds me of being a little kid and I think it’s funny. I don’t want anyone to read it, unless it’s like Jenna or Karly. Actually I suppose I don’t really care who reads it I guess. Whatever.

But yeah I hate school. I’m trying to not hate so I really “love” school. Haha yeah.

Oh yeah I forgot to say that tomorrow I’ll be missing the last 15 minutes of Spanish and the rest of the day because I’m going to St. George, Utah with the U-16 B-team. It’ll be weird. Madison and Miranda are coming too. Tom Better [coach of a different team] called me to come play in Nomads with them, but Sergio said no because I dunno, it’s complicated. But Tom was just supposed to call Sergio first. But I might go to Nomads with the 16s or 17s. I really want to. But I’m going to have to work my freaking ASS off, because I haven’t practiced in so long.

Ok, well, it’s 11:12 p.m., so I’d better go. I’ll write more later about my exciting adventures in St. George…Latah.

Ana Mizer

[AC is 21° Virgo trine the Sun-Venus retrograde conjunction in Capricorn and square Pluto in Sag. Venus turned retrograde on December 24 at 1° Aquarius conjunct Chiron. Ruler of the AC is Mercury at 14° Capricorn trine Mars at 14° Taurus, sextile Jupiter at 15° Scorpio, and more widely opposite the Moon at 9° Cancer. The Moon squares the nodes and trines Uranus. Jupiter and Mars are tightly opposed. MC is 19° Gemini trine Neptune in Aquarius.

I think it’s super interesting that the Sun-Venus retrograde conjunction is right on Ana’s Sun, and the AC of the moment she started the entry trines that conjunction. Venus went retrograde on Ana’s Part of Fortune (POF) in Aquarius. I feel like it speaks to how she’s realizing that her “friends” aren’t actually that great of friends, especially with the 12th house emphasis (plus her ruler of the 7th is the Sun in the 12th where the transiting Sun-Venus retrograde conjoin). Mars trines Mercury on her Neptune while transiting Neptune is more tightly conjunct her AC. The Moon opposes her Moon by degree, the MC trines her AC, and Saturn retrograde is still closely conjunct her Jupiter in the 7th. Transiting Jupiter approaches a conjunction with her Pluto, thus squares her AC and transiting Neptune.

I won’t show the chart for 23:12, the time she notes at the end of the entry, because the chart is very similar to the previous chart – the AC only moves about 9° and stays in Virgo.]