Syler & Idk About SPU: June 01, 2010
June 01, 2010
Everything’s flying past me. I’m trying to cradle this moment in my hands, pet it and whisper to it and love it, but somehow I can’t manage it.
Camila, Bob, and Luke came over for the weekend, and they’re already gone. We stayed at this boy named Syler’s house in Issaquah, and his father is an entomologist. He has the coolest house ever; it’s huge and everything in it is old and antique-looking, and there are spiders and skulls and dead mice, and it was really messy and smelled like camping. I slept in his bed and we made out.* And the next night we slept in his parents’ bed. Everyone drank the first night and the second night only Syler and I drank. We split a bottle of wine, merlot. He reminded me of Kurt Cobain. We all hung out downtown and went shopping, Bob got a tattoo. We ate a lot of ice cream, made new inside jokes.
[*Triwheel chart follows.]
I feel sad now that they’re gone. I am at the library downtown, trying to write a paper for UCOR. I was looking at my computer like ten minutes ago, and I looked up randomly and this guy with a huge, nice camera was taking my picture, it was weird, so I just looked back at my computer ha. My pen’s running out, it’s pissing me off. I’m texting [pen changes to pencil in the middle of the word “texting”] Kan. That pen can suck my dick.
I kind of like this sad feeling, it’s so weird how that can happen. One of the things I loved about this weekend is that I felt so real. Like I wish that was my life. I wish that me and Syler had that house to ourselves, or at least that it was mine in some way. I’m yearning for randomness and beauty to be incorporated into my life. I’m so sick of this Christian shit. I want to be around normal people, I want to have experiences like this past weekend to be regular occurrences. I dunno if I want to go to SPU next year, but I have to.* I will try it one more time and see what happens. I’m wondering if my negativity is just how I am, if I’ll do that no matter where I am. It’s quite possible.
[*Is this the first time Ana says this??]
Ok I’m gonna go. I can’t really think right now, so I dunno how I’m going to write a paper. I just know I don’t want to go back to SPU right now and sit in my room. Gross.
[The chart is not vastly different from the previous one shown. The first encounter with Syler was probably Saturday May 29. The Moon that day entered Capricorn and squared Ana’s progressed Moon, as well as conjoined her Mercury and transiting Pluto. The Sun conjoined her IC by degree that day, which means it’s applying to trine/sextile her Venus-Jupiter. Mercury squares her progressed Sun from Taurus by degree, and has passed the square to her Venus-Jupiter and now applies to square her AC-DC axis. It’s very closely trine her Neptune. Uranus entered Aries on May 27, meaning that it’s square Ana’s natal Mercury by degree, as well as the transiting Moon. It also applies to oppose her progressed Moon. Do the astrological symbols describe Syler’s appearance or how he affects Ana’s psyche?
See biwheel chart below for the current entry, when Ana mentions not going back to SPU for the following school year.]
[This isn’t necessarily the first time Ana mentions not wanting to go to SPU, because she has stated before that she wishes she could go to UW. However, I believe this is the first time she states not going to SPU as a definitive, semi-serious consideration. I think it’s interesting how the idea to not go to SPU again is a seed that is planted subtly, and this moment is part of the sprouting of the seed. I think most events in life are similar – most are whole arcs of development, not just a single incident. I think On Being as an astrological case study speaks to this, and it’s out of my scope to study any of these development-arc tangents in an isolated way. That’s for you to do, if you’re up to it.
What’s interesting in the transits here is how tightly Mars in Leo is opposite Neptune in Aquarius, which has just turned retrograde the previous day. They both square tightly (Neptune by degree) Ana’s natal Mars. They also both aspect Saturn by semi-sextile and inconjunct, respectively, and Saturn has just turned direct on Sunday (May 30), trine/sextile Ana’s core axis (her natal Saturn by degree) as well as trine her Mars. Also, Saturn and Jupiter oppose each other, so Jupiter aspects the Mars-Neptune opposition also by inconjunct/semi-sextile. I think this whole aspect configuration is super interesting, as it directly aspects Ana’s core axis (Jupiter-Saturn aspects by trine/sextile, and Mars-Neptune aspects by inconjunct/semi-sextile). Uranus at 0° Aries is a player in this game as well, as it’s conjunct Jupiter, although in the next sign. Jupiter is also square Ana’s Mercury at this point.
The Moon is in Aquarius this day, although I’m not sure at what time Ana writes this. Profection lord Mercury squares Ana’s AC by degree today, and thus applies to oppose her Pluto. It also sextiles Venus in Cancer, which opposes Ana’s Neptune and is still conjunct the SN. The Gemini Sun trines Ana’s Venus by degree as the Moon conjoins her Venus. Thus the Sun is still tightly sextile her Jupiter. Any thoughts/comments on the astrological symbols and how they relate to Ana’s entry?]