Worried All Day: March 25, 2010

March 25, 2010

I want to get a yin yang tattoo on my arm, near my wrist. I was so anxious today. For no reason.* There are too many things to say and I’m real tired. I need balance.

[*Triwheel chart follows.]

–scared to live, to fuck up, to hit bottom
–canʼt be perfect because itʼs impossible
–be nice to yourself, donʼt be so critical
–have confidence. You CAN do what you aim to do
–life is a struggle, you are a strong person

NO FUCKING FEAR. DON’T LET IT TAKE CONTROL.

–There is no self. There is only an ever-changing flux of emotions, habits, knowledge, preferences.
–Balance = comprehending the notion that nothing has only one side to it. Everything is connected because we are all everything. The potential to be anything resides inside us. I am not strong or weak. I am a mixture of both in different situations.

I want that tattoo, but then I get this bad feeling that Iʼm doing the wrong thing, and I hate that! I hate that fucking feeling! Iʼm a real person, I can make my own decisions. Besides, it stands for a fundamental concept in life that I need to remember for my own sake.

[What in Ana’s transits speaks to her worrying all day? Is it that Saturn retrograded back to the by-degree square to her Mercury this same day? That means it also conjoined her progressed Moon by degree. Transiting Moon was separating from a conjunction with Mars, which was still sextile Saturn retrograde, so Moon activated that whole aspect configuration also involving Ana’s progressed Mars. Mercury and Sun have entered Aries. Sun squares Pluto by degree, and Mercury squares Ana’s Neptune and the transiting nodal axis, which is approaching her Neptune. Mercury is profection lord, so maybe that aspect to her Neptune is stronger than usual? Jupiter sextiles/trines the nodal axis, and sextiles Ana’s Neptune. Venus is now tightly square Ana’s Sun-Chiron opposition. What stands out to you about the astrology here?]