losing things, finding things: 07 July 2012
Sweat, smoke, thin dresses, losing things, finding things, breeze and darker overcast skies, ruffles fluttering in the wind, a balcony with a bench, flowers, an ash tray, how this slightly reminds me of another world, maybe a dream world, making a connection between neurons, TVs behind windows and blinds, soft laughter, a twitch in your eye, balancing a cigarette lightly between your lips, good posture, eating random things that sound tasty in the moment but never real meals, dainty, frilly, delicate, poised, balanced and rhythmic, the word “loquacious,” staring off into the distance, inside your own mind and a different…
Blood, Björk, and Brainwashing: 25 May 2012
Cooling down in Café Nero, it’s hot hot hot! I had a massive headache and needed coffee. Today I bought three books at a cheap bookshop and over-the-knee, black, opaque socks because I am getting blisters on my feet from…
disappointment: 15 May 2012
disappointment, going back to America as degeneration, loneliness?, maybe not, coffee and cigarettes, wine and cheese and chocolate, annoyed with Moe’s lack of social perception, disbelief at how people are horrible at perceiving others’ feelings and emotions, long nails, long…
A letter to Damon Albarn: 29 March 2012
A letter to Damon Albarn: Hi. How are you? I miss you. I miss you and I don’t even know you. I miss you because I saw you only once at your concert in Seattle. I cried the whole time.…
Who cares? 19 March 2012
THINGS: Who cares? About anything? How do you care? Futility. How are we to survive? How can I conquer my own irrationality? Slight changes in my mind – hopelessness/despair, then excitement for the future; feelings of doom and that bad…
Where are you? 22 February 2012
Things: I can’t love anyone. I can’t enjoy physicality, all I want is to not touch anyone, to sleep alone, to sit in the shower and be silent and feel the warmth mixing with my own mind and my secret…
dim lamplight and a darkening sky: 12 January 2012
Cheese, hand warmers, eye contact and shy smiles, vibrant hair, perceptions of beauty, eye makeup, television shows, a thick luster, jewelry, running, feeling so good after running, shopping for birthday gifts, getting mail, not feeling anxious for a really long…
to banksy: 13 February 2012
TO BANKSY: I want everything that’s in your mind, I need a revolution, I need something secret and important to give me a purpose, to show me life means something more than surviving. I want it to be mine and…
the constant stability of sanity: 24 November 2011
I want immortality, perfection, permanence, security, the constant stability of sanity, to keep everything remembered forever, never forgotten…but truly I don’t want any of these things. I’ll get bored and feel trapped, I’m contradicting myself, fucking up the harmony or…
Good vibrations: 10 November 2011
Good vibrations: black-tipped nails, sweatshirts over dresses, almost finishing a book and starting another, secret uninhabited parts of London that aren’t touristy, cloudy gray mornings with coffee and thick socks and braided hair and alone, wearing the same clothes over…
THINGS: 28 October 2011
THINGS: walking for hours under a hooded sky, upon damp cobblestones, learning, adapting, doubt, nervousness, always finding something to worry about, beautiful histories not my own, desire, satisfaction, wandering, appearances as deceptive, memories, the future as impossible to perceive, snacking,…